Friday, August 26, 2011
Open Letter Against Kale
You are the worst tasting vegetable I've ever had. Please, stop existing. Not only did you stink up my entire apartment while I was cooking you, but you activated my gag reflex the second I put you in my mouth. Even after all this, I forced myself to eat you, because you're "good for me"... and was consequently burdened with kale-tasting burps for the rest of the day.
I ask you this, how can something that tastes so bad be good for me? Does it not stand to reason that if my body so violently rejects something, then I probably shouldn't eat it?
I follow that line of inquiry with this: If fat is bad for me, why does anything cooked in it taste so good? Are our taste buds plotting against us?
I blame myself, for believing that vegan lady on TV who said kale was delicious.. "Mmmm", she said, as she placed a giant spoonful in her mouth... LIAR! How do you live with yourself?
Shame on you kale, shame on you... and shame on all of you who pretend it's a delicious snack.