Friday, August 26, 2011

Open Letter Against Kale



Dear Kale,

You are the worst tasting vegetable I've ever had. Please, stop existing. Not only did you stink up my entire apartment while I was cooking you, but you activated my gag reflex the second I put you in my mouth. Even after all this, I forced myself to eat you, because you're "good for me"... and was consequently burdened with kale-tasting burps for the rest of the day.

I ask you this, how can something that tastes so bad be good for me? Does it not stand to reason that if my body so violently rejects something, then I probably shouldn't eat it?

I follow that line of inquiry with this: If fat is bad for me, why does anything cooked in it taste so good? Are our taste buds plotting against us?

I blame myself, for believing that vegan lady on TV who said kale was delicious.. "Mmmm", she said, as she placed a giant spoonful in her mouth... LIAR! How do you live with yourself?

Shame on you kale, shame on you... and shame on all of you who pretend it's a delicious snack.

Sincerely,
Ana Lugo

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